CLAW HAMMER

Environment - Celebration Meeting for Five Years of Service

Scene 1: Group of eight people and a manager with a laptop attached to an overhead projector clapping as one employee with a fake orange tan receives a gold wrapped box for five years of service with the company.

Scene 2: He opens the gift to display his 105 piece tool set. Included in the gift is a claw hammer with a sponge grip for comfort.

Scene 3: Asian American turns to the Obese Caucasian. "What do you think he will use this for?" Both begin to Giggle. Obese man replies..."After five years service they hand out weapons to employees? He will use it to tear open skulls of other employees! It's a way the company keeps down it's population."

Scene 4: Asian American is laughing as he points out, "With that sponge comfort grip, the employee wouldn't get carpal tunnel when he is tearing out his coworkers skulls. These companies think of everything!"

Lesson Learned: When providing gifts for employees, ensure the safety of all when choosing from a catelogue!


Environment: Support Centre

Scene 1: Manager speaking, "Come into my office, I would like to show you something."
Employee Walks into the office and watches the manager pull out his USB hard drive from his pocket. With an evil grin the manager begins typing and moving folders around in windows explorer. "Look at this!" The manager points at his screen.

Scene 2: Employee silently screams. The manager is holding an automatic weapon with bullets wrapped around his waste. "Um...it's ah....pretty cool."

Scene 3: Manager shows an AVI file of him shooting the gun with red tracers at targets.

Scene 4: Scared shitless employee faints. The next day he quits...fearing for his life.

Lesson Learned: When showing pictures that you want to impress someone with, think of the consequences of your powerful position over that person.


Scene 4: